Стройнеть? Легко!

Ненаглядное пособие для желающих обрести стройность без вложения денег, без потери времени, без больших усилий.

Если вы хотите, на диване лёжа –

Быть такой же стройной, как велосипед.

Это сделать можно и не так уж сложно.

Просто выбирайте тут любой совет.

Для возвращения стройности тела, приходится устраивать организму стресс.

1.Ежедневными длительными упражнениями. Не наш вариант.

2.Голоданием. Тоже не наш вариант.

3.Регулярным приёмом жидкости (от полулитра до литра), строго за 15 минут до еды. Возможный вариант. Рассмотрим подробнее. Воду можно пить: кипячёную, не кипячёную, бутилированную, святую, какую придумаете. Перед любым приёмом пищи (например, только перед обедом), или перед каждым завтраком (обедом, полдником, ужином, поздним ужином). Вес уходит степенно, кожа – не обвисает! Однако, если вы закладывали килограммы лет тридцать, убрать их за три дня не получится. Настройтесь на многомесячную водную эпопею.

4. Если вода в вас не лезет. Попробуйте носить прорезиненный  корсет. По 8-10 часов ежедневно. Личный опыт: летом в корсете очень жарко.

5.Учитывайте вселенские ритмы. Никаких вздохов у зеркала: ой, сколько меня много!.. Вселенная изобильна, но с чувством юмора у неё – плохо. Думаете только о жире? Добавят ещё! Поэтому – спать и видеть себя стройной!

6. Оглядывайтесь на луну. На убывающей можно есть: что хочешь, сколько хочешь, хоть шашлык на ночь. На растущей — желательно сидеть на салатиках…

7. Проблему лишнего веса (и любую другую) можно решить, используя Оксюморон. Излагаете проблему письменно, на туалетной бумаге. Смываете в унитаз. Поёте вслед:

Ты плыви, моя проблема,

Хочешь вправо, хочешь влево,

Хочешь – прямо на парад.

Нет тебе пути назад!

Петь с чувством, лучше – на убывающей луне и в отсутствие домашних. Не продвинутые товарищи, ваш креатив могут не оценить.

8. Можно сидеть на книге Бухучёт, с надписью: диета бескалорийная.

9. Можно делать бумажные самолётики, писать на крыле 0,5кг. И – в окошко. Сбрасывать вес. Не увлекайтесь. В месяц можно сбрасывать по паре кило. Зачем нам обвисшая кожа?

10. Благодарите. Благодарю, Вселенная, я ем этот чудесный тортик (окорок, наваристый борщ) и  стройнею. Аналогично с напитками.

Желаю всем успеха в обретении стройности и здоровья (используя любой способ или все сразу). Делитесь своими способами обретения желанных форм. Нас уже давно ждут конкурсы красоты для бабушек!

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